How Long to Sing This Song?

Still obsessed with the recent encounter between my best mate and my former mate. I think there was a certain amount of disrespect and arrongance on his part, and know there was an air of 'there is something wrong with that guy between them'... no doubt about it. Maybe my horoscope is right that envy is at play. Well that angst held until I got to our dinner party with the my group. I sat across from my immediate colleagues.. It was about an hour until I smiled and that smile lasted the rest of the evening. I bumped into my African American friend and shared my angst when buying a bite to eat. Last night I met this old man, and later a young woman. The old man said I should reconcile with my ex wife. He was a bit probing, and I realized he had no respect for my privacy and which may be an understatement. I waved him off when he started asking for specific names. The young woman came home with me, but like Murphy's law, I wasn't ready, but should have been. At the dinner my director politely also said I should reconcile. Whatever, right? More about the young woman; I know she works at the local live jazz bar. Certain that my ex-girlfriend is in orbit around there too. Small world and would hate my ex to sink what little credibility I have around here. Especially when I'm trying to refresh my experience through new friends.

At my favorite bar, a guy I know agreed to host mom and younger brother and I in Nagano next month and visit the tradition UNESCO settlement near there. I expect it to be a very wicked and fulfilling experience for us all. Nice that my directory also appreciates that goal. I told him I went to Mt. Koya in Wakayama-ken. I am at a favorite bar and wondering if I should tell my best mate that I don't appreciate him telling me that he renewed his friendship with my ex girlfriend. If I do it will be a tense evening. But what the FUCK, I don't give a shit. Like I said, arrogance. My other ex girlfriend best friend is here and her boyfriend who's I can never remember is here is DJing. I'm thinking about my mom, and how she'll appreciate the classic R&B. It never ceases to amaze me how younger Japanese love black music that is older than me. Such an experience may prove very flattering to Mummy.

I still still have quite a bit of angst about my drought, bad memories of my ex, and endless thoughts about my daughter ESL and our lack of communication.

Selfish as it may seem, I just need some genuine affection, or at least something more or less than all that. As U2 once said, "How Long to Sing This Song?"