Crossroads

"all you people think you own my life, you never made any sacrifice" yet the song plays like a skipped record. At work, my disfunctiongal organization deliberately perform less just to pass the buck along to force others to do more. Its like having power in spite of everyone else's ineptitude.

Besides all that

Today we're in shock and awe of another display by mother nature, this time in Haiti. This one sends a warning like a devil in the details of our lives. Especially here in Tokyo. To imagine that we're immune and that in such event of sheer devastation in Tokyo that I'll either be around to survive the aftermath or won't suffer the loss of friends and family is pure fantasy. I'd hate to echo the disturbing message of many, but this may be a nighmarish blessing in disguise for Haiti. Like the epic sweep of history ending, this is like a fierce renewal for a desparate people. And hope that whatever comes to pass will be better than what was there before. God bless all the souls that passed. If that weren't enough, Teddy too... sigh a tear

On another note. There seems to be several currents flowing through my life. Some are swift and treacherous. Others well known. They all ebb and flow, but aren't leading me anywhere. Like one oar I paddle in circles and wish I could find the stream to my personal satisfaction. But this current ebb I seem to circle in is a shallow pool of someone else's satisfaction, perhaps even desperation. Am I a bad person to want to row to the shore, upstream or float downstream away from despair. Or be happy that I have a boat at all and am not overboard treading water like the rest of them.

New Technologies in a Sustainable Energy Economy

Piles of Stress

Two days of anxiety. I've been there and done that, but anytime I get dreaded piles I freak out. Appearing out of nowhere they appear sudden. However, in retrospect, I think a lot about the things I've been eating, with compulsive drinking and smoking. And with that thought, maybe I should be more careful about what I eat, and not drink or smoke as much. To tell my colleagues that I'm not feeling well, knowing they all sit on cushions too. I don't sit on a cushion, but also fear the piles are something much worse that means I need to
go visit a doctor. Well, today I won't need to... but it is enough to show how fragile we all are, delicate to the very end, no pun intended.